YAY!!! The worst is over!

Now it is wait and see time. I will have to see my oncologist every 3 months for various scans and exams for the next two years. I am high risk for it to come back. The most common time for it to show up is around year 2-3. All I can do now is reduce my stress and live a healthy life. I will have to get an echocardiogram because I was having some chest pain after a short easy cardio workout. Hopefully my heart will be ok.

At the end of my infusion, my nurses came in singing a song. They had a certificate of completion that they all signed and a bottle of Martinelli’s Apple Cider. It was very sweet. Here is the picture we took!


Just wrapping up the song!



The ladies pose after singing!

I love my nurses!

Alan, my mom, and I got our pictures taken at Discovery Park in Seattle by one, Amy Kiel! It was very cool. I can’t wait to see how they came out! She is a busy woman though, so it will be a little while. I promise to post some pics as soon as I get them. It was so much fun. We laughed a lot. Amy is one of my all time favorite people.

We have spent a lot of time outside this last week. We took extra walks and did whatever we could to soak up the sun! It is so nice to have such sunny warm weather. We actually got into the 70s this week. It helps my soul and body so much.

So I did a dance dare. For those of you who don’t watch the Ellen Show which I do every day, she has asked people to send her videos of them dancing behind people who don’t know that is going on. I did this on my last day of chemo! I don’t have very good dance moves as I still have such limitation with my hip, but I did what I could! Yes this is embarrassing, but who cares? When have I even bothered to not put it all out there! I am a silly girl! Also, I had no music to listen too...

The good and the bad...

So I went to a radiation consultation today. Good thing, I am not getting radiation at this time; the bad thing, we learned I am high risk form my cancer coming back. Lymphoma that goes into the bone is high risk for returning and if the lymphoma is considered bone primary (the lymphoma developed in the bone first) it is even more high risk. They don’t know if I have bone primary lymphoma. We have decided to closely monitor, meaning PET scans every 3 months for a long time, and see what happens. If it does come back, we will catch it early and treat it with radiation.  

What does this all mean to me? Well, it means I am on the right track with my diet. The diet have been transitioning into is believed to have even cured some lymphoma patients. It isn’t a matter of vanity but truly a matter of my life. I am going to help myself live and be healthy, and this is the best way to do that. I had decided this before, but after my last chemo I plan to transition this blog from my cancer experience to my health and diet. I will still talk about some of the few cancer things that I will still deal with, but my focus in my life will be my health and stress management so that will be what my blog will reflect.

This week has been great. I feel wonderful. I am still easily fatigued, but I am going through chemo! I did a lot yesterday and I am tired for it today. It has been so nice to spend time with friends and enjoy some of the nicer weather we have been having! Alan and I spent the day at Lincoln Park and took Loki to the dog park on Monday. The dog park didn’t last long though, Loki just wasn’t into it. It was nice to just hang out in the sun by the water. I got a pedicure and had lunch with my dear friend Jessica. It always a good time with her! I went to a creativity workshop and drinks afterwards with Stacey. I walked around the mall with a new friend, Jesse, who is so amazing and has some damn cute kids!!! My mom and I spent the night with my mother-in-law for some quilting fun.  I went to Whole Foods for the first time and made tons of yummy and organic food! See… what a great week!

I think I will take a nap, get on my elliptical walker for a while, and go watch a movie with my mom. Hope everyone has a great Easter weekend! I promise to blog one more time before what will be my last chemo!!! So excited!

Too long since my last post...

It has been a long week! So much has happened, but I will try my best to recap everything!

Sunday was a great day! It was the day of the Big Climb in Seattle. The Big Climb is a fundraiser for leukemia and lymphoma. People raise money then climb up 69 flights of stairs in Seattle’s tallest building! The wonderful girls at the communications center for KCSO added me as an honorary member of their team! They even got me a team shirt. The amazing part of that was that not one of them had ever met me before they did so. I decided I wanted to go meet them and support them.

Their story was really touching. They had a supervisor who died of lymphoma six years ago. They do the big climb for her every year. Their team shirt is a baseball t-shirt in the Mariners colors because the supervisor loved baseball and the Mariners. The team name is on the back “Forget Me Not” with the number 13 and the team member’s name on the front. They raised something like $2500 at least half coming from a bake sale they held. The bake sale was set up like a posh bakery. It was really professional looking, and there was a lot of care and heart put into it! What an amazing group of women! I was honored by the inclusion and so happy to be able to come and support them!

Here is the whole group!

The atmosphere of the Big Climb was brilliant! There were so many people there. All the team shirts were inspirational and told such incredible stories. There were several teams with shirts with pictures of little children and logos like, “Climb for Kalob” or “Forever in our hearts”. You can see how some of the shirts were just gut wrenching. There were memorial shirts, survivor shirts, hopeful shirts, and everything in between! I have always felt lucky with how things have gone for me, but I never felt luckier than I did looking around me and seeing all the people who have been touched by these types of cancer. It was truly amazing!

After the girls got lined up, Alan and I headed home. I was feeling tired and a little weary; however, after a little rest I was feeling better and decided to go for a walk. That was just silly to do! I wore myself out and I really started to not feel well. That and it made my chemo brain a little worse! I did take a nap though and felt better, kind of; so we went to meet up with the other KCSO team that did the climb (they did it much later in the day) for dinner. My chemo brain was still in effect though as I didn’t even recognize some friends that were there when I first walked in. Nope, I just walked right on past them! It took me about 5 or 6 steps to even realize I just saw someone I knew. I felt really dumb! At any rate, it was nice seeing that team because I knew several people there. My girlfriend, Jessica, did the climb and finished all 69 floors in 14 minutes! Amazing!!!!

I did do too much on Sunday and I was really sick on Monday because of it! I didn’t even want to leave the couch and Tuesday wasn’t too much better. I drank lots of water and ate some of my mom chicken soup made with mineral broth. I was really worried because I had a trip planned for Wednesday! I was going to go on my trip no matter what and luckily I felt much better!

Wednesday, my friend, Amy, picked me up and we headed to Portland! We were going to see Wicked! It was so much fun to take an overnight trip and with her! Amy is one of those friends that is so easy to be around. She laughs so easy and things are always fun when she is there. We talked a lot on the way up, which was great as there was so much to catch up on. We got to the hotel, changed, and headed out for dinner; which was amazing. We got to the theater and were able to check out the orchestra pit. She had never seen a Broadway play before and I think she really loved it. They did a great job! We just wanted to stay and make them do it all over again, but we headed to the hotel for a drink (well, lemonade in my case) instead!

The next morning we went to Edgefield and ate breakfast. The food is always good there! We had a lot of fun just walking around and taking pictures. We have decided to try and get tickets to the Florence and the Machine concert there in July. It is sold out, so we shall see if we can find some within price range on ebay or something.

I also went and saw Little Miss, Lauren, in a little play she did with her acting class. It was super cute! I went to Stacey's afterwards and we got to catch up. It was great to see them. I don't get to see them as often as I wish I could.

My mom and I have also been spending some great time together. We went to my favorite Thai restaurant and had dinner. We have also been watching season one of Game of Thrones so she can watch season two with us starting Sunday. We have had some good talks. We went to see Hunger Games. It has been hard to think that she is leaving in a month. Neither one of us can really talk about that yet.

I bought two more books this week about nutrition. One was based on a recommendation from a friend called, Nourishing Traditions. The other is, The Lean. It will take me time to get through these books, but I am committed to changing my diet this summer. I plan on transitioning slowly so that by the end of summer I am eating whole grains, limited milk products, mostly raw or lightly steamed veggies, and all organic and natural foods. I am determined to do everything I can to prevent from getting cancer again. Some things I can’t control, but others I can. I am never helping cancer again!

I have a busy week coming up! Alan and I have a fun restaurant tour today; I have several planned visits with friends, doctor’s appointments, and much needed fieldtrips to take. I will keep you all posted.  I also finally get to start using my elliptical walker! My focus is now shifting to getting ready for my last chemo and for life after cancer! It is amazing that this journey is almost over. There is no longer light at the end of the tunnel because there is no tunnel. I would be standing in the sunshine, but I live in Washington and the sunshine is available right now, but I will settle for the diffused, gray light of the cloudy daytime! There is less shadow with this type of diffused light and I am ok without shade right now…

Looking back and forward...

Looking back at this experience, I am surprised about the things that have bothered me and what hasn’t. I had no real problem losing my hair, and I accepted the fact I had cancer almost instantly. I surrendered to the process and feel that I did not fight against it. What I did have trouble with was my wheelchair (initially) and I hated causing stress and sadness in my loved ones. Luckily, as things have gone so well and I am so close to the end of this journey, my friend’s and family’s stress and worries have mostly subsided. As for my wheelchair, well the thing I hated the most was getting pictures at special events; like when Alan got Police Officer of the Year for Seatac or when my sister graduated. I hated the idea of looking back at the pictures and only seeing a sick version of myself instead of the amazing events taking place. I don’t want to see the loom of darkness from my cancer in the happy moments. It was the first and only sign of my illness at the time. It was the driving force in the seated Zumba and 2 mile walk on my crutches. I refused to need any assisting devices once I didn’t need that wheelchair anymore!

Cancer has temporarily taken from me, but I look forward to reclaiming what is mine. I can’t wait to get back to work (having my income back would be nice too), start school again, and even getting back to doing the things I love like hiking, dancing, or exercising. Even going up the stairs like a normal human is very appealing to me right now. I can’t help but be excited about the coming summer. It’s a long summer of trips with the girls, camping, weekend trips, going to Tucson to see my family healthy, and going back to the Caribbean!

Today is much better than yesterday, but I haven’t taken my prednisone yet. As of now, I have my normal headache and general feeling of cancer ick. I have found that taking my prednisone half way through breakfast and drinking decaf tea with half and half really helps my stomach and some of the affects I feel from the prednisone.

All in all, I am in a great mood today. The sun is out and not a cloud in the sky right now. Depending on how today goes, I may try to go on a small walk this afternoon. If nothing else, maybe I will get out one of my lounge chairs and sit in the sun in my yard.

PET scan and pictures of chemo 5

Oh happy day! I got my PET scan results today and I am officially tumor free! I have chemo today and my last chemo on April 11. When Dr. Vaka told me, I honestly broke down. I haven’t done that much throughout this whole process, and I have never cried in front of my doctor.  I think she was a little surprised and worried at first. I just couldn’t help it. I felt so relieved and happy. It was just a release of all the concern and worry I have harbored over the last four months mixed with happiness.

For those of you not familiar with the process of chemo, once a patient had a tumor free scan, they will receive two more chemos. Although the tumors are gone, there are usually still “free range” cancer cells floating around in the body.  The two extra chemos ensure the cancer is completely gone and tumors are not formed again.

So I decided to take some pictures of this chemo for you all…

Mom got a headache after getting so excited about our good news. I let her have my bed for a little!



Starting my blog since I had nothing better to do.



The nurse is prepping to get my portacath ready

I am ready to be prepped.



Cleaning me with chloraprep. Can't get an infection at the injection site. That would be bad.



The nurse is giving me lidocaine so the big fricking needle she is about to inject doesn't hurt. 



Yup, that goes into my portacath in my chest.

Inserting the big fricking needle.



All ready for chemo!

Watching Avatar.



Not sure she is seeing any of the movie...maybe the backs of her eyelids! LOL!



Getting started. This is the R in RCHOP.

My nurse, Amy, hooking me up. She was super nice!

The H in RCHOP.

Coming to the end and don't I look lovely????

An amazing story...

Well, I have to say that this story has touched me and reinforced my belief in how fortunate I am. I am so touched that I had to share it. It is truly a testament to what we can do for ourselves and for others.

2nd Lt. Matt Blount

An honorable finish: Second Lt. Matthew Blount loses battle with cancer: A long illness claimed the life of 2nd Lt. Matt Blount Saturday. The Jacksonville man, diagnosed with cancer, had fought long to become a commissioned officer in the United States Army Reserve, whi...

I am impressed with his ability to stay in school and ROTC. I decided to put school off until my adventure was over, and I am glad I did. Between being sick and chemo brain, I know I would not have been able to finish school. I also did not want to put my body and mind through any more undue stress than I needed too. I can’t imagine doing what he did.

I feel so lucky. My dealings with cancer have gone as well as it ever could have. I will be done with this soon, and I will be able to move forward in my life. I have some things I want to do and are working on accomplishing. I have already planned on attending a workshop at the end of summer to help me work on issues I see in myself that I want to improve. I have a plan to improve my health and hopefully keep myself from ever having to go through this again. I am going to the local theater to find out how I can become involved in doing productions and hopefully one day maybe doing a little role myself. I plan on taking full advantage of this summer by taking trips long and short and spending time with those who are most important to me. I will go back to nursing school in the fall with a plan to keep my stress levels down as much as possible.

I want to live and be happy. My situation is such that I am able to do that. I owe it to myself, Alan, and my family. I could have easily been in the same situation as Matt Blount, but I was one of the lucky ones. I have a second chance at life. I feel even more now than ever that it is time to do all the things I always wanted to.

Another milestone!

I went on my first full walk in our usual spot in the woods since October today! It was amazing. It was a little tough in spots since there are still trees down from the ice storm, but Alan helped me get over the trees when I needed it. I missed walking in the woods so much, and I enjoyed being out there just talking with Alan and watching Loki. For about an hour I got to pretend that things were normal. I was not sick and Alan didn’t have to deal with all the issues that come from having a wife with cancer. We were just us with no worries or cares.

The picture of me on the other side of the fence where we start our walk in the woods.

My mom also came home tonight. I missed her so much. It is nice to have her close and, I really am dreading the day she has to go home for good. She has been such a source of comfort and understanding. She has really been able to relate to my situation and feelings since she has cancer as well. She has already been where I have been. It has been such a comfort to have her not only because she is my mommy, but because she is the only one in my life who knows exactly how I feel.

I went and spent a couple of days with my in-laws. I am so lucky to have such great in-laws and have such a great relationship with them. My mother-in-law, Carol, and I did some quilting, talked, and just had some great quality time together. I also spent time with my father-in-law, Roger. We ran some errands together and had some great bonding time too. We all went out to eat at the Lemon Grass Café in Olympia. It is a Thai food restaurant and very yummy. I was in great spirits and walking around. I think it was very reassuring for them to see me doing so well.

I did get my school work turned in a few days ago and it is really nice to know it is all done. I didn’t have to have it in until next week, but I will be busy or chemo sick. I didn’t want to risk not getting it in. I actually wanted to get it done much sooner, but between out of state visitors, doctor appointments, chemo, being sick, and chemo brain that just didn’t happen. I was surprised how long it took me to do it. It took me much longer to get it done than I would have before. The longer I go through this the worse the chemo brain gets too. Some days are not that bad, but other days it is like I have half a brain, if that.

I probably won’t do another blog until Tuesday, maybe later. I have my PET scan on Tuesday and chemo on Wednesday, but I will have a lot of information to pass on then. We will find out on Wednesday about how many chemos we have left and what the rest of my process will be. In all honesty, if the news is not what I want it to be, I doubt I will blog before next weekend. I will probably be a little devastated if we find out that I have eight chemos to do, or if we add more treatments like radiation to the extra chemos. I am sure that will not be the case though. I feel it in my heart that this will all be over in April. April 21^st will be the day that I will not feel sick anymore and will have no more chemo to look forward too. I cannot wait.