School and other such nonsense

Hello everyone!

Well, it has been a long time since I posted an update. I thought I would say a few things. It's a good distraction from studying anyway!

First of all, I lost my cat Princess. I miss her so much. It was especially difficult as she died with the very same cancer that I had! Even the chemo she would have gotten would have been the same as mine, except one drug! We had to put her down two weeks ago today. I have finally stopped crying like a baby over it, which makes me sad in a weird way as well.

I also have started school. It is crazy! I am starting my 6th week tomorrow! It has been very difficult for me. I have always struggled slightly…well, stressed out is more like it. Now I am actually finding real deficiencies in my ability to learn and retain information. For example, last week I read all the readings for the modules. I was going over some of them today for review and the readings were completely unfamiliar to me. It was like I never read them! Retaining read material has never been a strength of mine, but in the past there would at least be a familiarity and I would think, “Oh yeah, that’s right. I remember now.” There was nothing today! I have been doing practice questions from several books and cds today in hopes to help retain or gain some information that might help me pass my test tomorrow. It is all side effects of the chemo and I will eventually get back to normal. It has becoming a waiting game for me.

I recently watched the most amazing documentary called, Half the Sky. It speaks to atrocities committed against women across the world. There are some truly inspiring and amazing women out there. After watching that, I feel like an imposter when others say that about me. I have been through nothing compared to those women! I highly recommend everyone watch it. It is on On Demand with Xfinity, or read the book! The stories are horrendous, but the courage, love, and devotion that comes from these situations give me hope for humanity!

I also went to a seminar with Context International. The training is a three part series and I have only completed the first part, but I already feel a change in me. It is aimed at helping people find the ways that they can help themselves live a life of purpose and fulfillment. I had such an amazing feeling when I left the first seminar called, The Pursuit of Excellence. Not only have I started to really work on some things about myself I want to change, I met some really amazing people. My only regret is that I have to wait until the end of December to get the next part called, The Wall.

My hair is growing in well! It is pretty thick now. It is still pretty short, maybe 2.5 inches. It looks shorter than that though….because my curls are back! I am so happy about that. I didn’t care that my color might change, but I wanted my curls back. It is actually the strangest thing. Not one day goes by when someone doesn’t compliment my hair. Apparently short hair is the best on me. I wish I liked it half as much as everyone else. The only thing I see when I look at my hair is that it is the last visual reminder of all I went through. It doesn’t help that I loved my hair the way it was before. I actually like my hair less than when I was bald, if you can believe that! Oh well, at least everyone else likes it for now.

I have been experiencing an uncomfortable ache in my hip again. I am trying not to freak out about it. It is hard to not think, “OMG! I have cancer again!” I am trying to keep that under control. I will most likely have to go in for another MRI as the discomfort is becoming more predictable and not going away. I will keep you all posted on that.

My mother is doing well back home. I miss her so much every day. I have no idea how I will ever pay her back for everything she did for Alan and me. She is back with her grandbabies though, and I know it makes her happy to be there. I am still trying to cook something up!

Other than that, things are going well. Alan and I had a great summer, especially our relaxing and uneventful (in a good way) Jamaica trip! We are heading to Hawaii in December, so there is that to look forward too! I hope all is well out there in the rest of the world.