I AM A NURSE!!!!!

I can’t believe I am a nurse! The last few days have been agony.  I had convinced myself that I had failed the NCLEX.  Here is why…

When I took the Kaplan class they told us about the test and how it works. The NCLEX is a computer adaptive test. It looks for a pattern in the way you answer questions to find your competency level. The computer will give you your next question based on how you answer the current one. If you answer correct your next question will be harder or the same level as the one you just answered. If you get it wrong you will be given an easier question. Passing level questions are analysis and critical thinking questions and general pathophysiology questions are not passing level. At about question 45 or 50 I had gotten multiple questions that were “below” the passing level questions. That led me to believe that although I was getting above the passing level questions, that I was not establishing a pattern of competency. I was all over the place; I told myself that it was ok. I had more questions to prove that I was going to be a competent nurse. I settled in for a longer than 75 question test, so when the screen shut off at 75 my heart sank. I thought that I had done bad enough that I didn’t have more than 75 questions to prove I am competent. I checked out of the test center, went to my car, and then I cried. I felt with every cell in my body that I failed that test!

Needless to say, the next 32 hours were just full of stress and anguish. I just wanted to have the results so I could move on. There are “tricks” to knowing if you passed or not and according to those I did pass. I didn’t trust them though. I continued to check the WA Department of Health website to see if my status would change from pending to something else. Imagine my shock when I just errantly checked while stopped at a traffic light to see the word “active” next to my license title and number!!!

Pinning and graduation was wonderful. I almost wish all that happened after NCLEX, but that isn’t realistic anyway. I was so nice to have so many friends and family around to support me. My wonderful in-laws had a BBQ for me. There was even a cake with a red-headed nurse on it! I was truly a wonderful week of celebration. Now that I have passed the NCLEX, there will be a big BBQ in which I plan to invite everyone! 

The last two and a half years…well much longer if you count my prerequisites…have been the biggest roller coaster of my life. I have had some of the highest highs and for sure the lowest lows I have ever had. I sacrificed, toiled, been pushed to my limits more than once and continued to push on to become the person I am today and the nurse I will be tomorrow…but that is the beauty of speed!