Mondays, Music, and Tattoos

I have never been a Monday girl. I pretty much feel about them as the rest of civilization; however, Mondays after chemo are wonderful! They are the first prednisone free day post chemo! It is 6:15 am and I have already been up for over an hour, and I was up several times in the night. Well, that ends today! I will most likely sleep like a champ tonight. I might start my prednisone crash today, but with half and half and little gumption we will have some good days.

I have always been a music gal. I don’t know all the great indie bands, the current pop tart music, or very knowledgeable about music; but I know what I like. Music is very important for me and it has been instrumental to my dealing with my cancer. As usual, Tori Amos has been the major contributor to my cathartic expression. Some days I sit in the warm shower and just let her music wash over me like the waves of the ocean. She is especially important on hard days. Sometimes just the lyric of a song can mean so much; for example, she has a song called Suede. The song doesn’t really pertain to my experience but there is a lyric that just grabs, “mass so big it could swallow her whole star intact.” Of course there are so many of her songs that I couldn’t list them all here. Obviously Beauty of Speed means something to me these days, and there is a song called Bouncing Off Clouds that has very special meaning too. Good days, the spectrum becomes more broad, but Adele has been getting heavy rotation and of course Lady Gaga! I can’t wait until I can dance my way through my house!

I have settled on what I want my survivor tattoo to be, well mostly. The tattoo goes something like this... In the foreground, a lighthouse (maybe) with breaking waves on rock, in the background a stormy sea with a ship (idea of weathering the storm). Somewhere I want to add the lyrics from a Tori song called Nautical Twilight, "She is boundless even breaking on the beach". The song doesn't have much to do much with my situation, but this lyric really does. The lyric really speaks to me about keeping a positive attitude in the face of and surviving this cancer. Is this too cheesy?

Yesterday was so crappy. I really felt cruddy all day and of course the sun had to be out! It was nice seeing the sun out my back door. I just wish I could have gone out in it. Soon enough the sun will be making more appearances, it will be warmer, and I will be able to walk in it and feel the breeze on my face. Those are the thoughts that make me happy and get me through some of these rougher days. I can’t wait for this summer. I am going to live this summer like none other!

Well, that is enough early morning rambling for anyone. Sorry about that, but what else am I going to do??? Lol!