Chemo 4

So tomorrow is chemo number 4. I have feelings of dread, resignation, and hope. This has been one big roller coaster ride, and tomorrow will be no different. I don't think that we will get any new information from the doctor; but at least no matter how many chemos I have, it will at least be the halfway point. I am looking at this chemo as a necessary evil to get to my bone doctor next week.

I need to get things ready for tomorrow. I have a mineral broth I have to make. Since I got so sick last time, I plan on drinking my broth and eating toast for dinner. I also have to pack my bag. My mom usually does that, but her plane doesn't get in until 10 tonight. I pack movies, magazines, my blanket, camera, pillows, and my mala beads. I usually sleep most of the time because they give me bendryl, so I don't worry about bringing too many entertaining things.

I also have a confession. I have not been eating very well the last few days. Between not wanting to spend money, my mobility issues, friends being sick, and my mom being out of town I have not done very much. So many things are not very fun right now, I have allowed myself to enjoy food. How lame is that?

I did get some promising news from physical therapy today. I may be able to get an elliptical trainer through my insurance. It would be nice to have one here at the house for the days I feel good without having to pay for a gym membership, since I am sick about half the time anyway. I am waiting to hear from the case worker from Group Health to find out for sure. Hopefully Dr. MacDonald will ok me for using an elliptical trainer and I can start burning off these calories I have eaten the last few days!